Every horse owner is different. Whilst some people molly-coddle their horses to distraction, others allow their horses to be… well horses. If you recognize yourself in any of these tongue-in-cheek descriptions it may be time for a rethink!
Trusting…
You had a niggling feeling that the dealer looked a teeny bit shifty, what with his dark shades and a moustache that slipped to one side as he talked but still, the horse he showed you ate carrots out of your hand so sweetly. And when the dealer said: “Look love, this horse has got Olympic potential, honest!” you were happy to pay him four grand in used notes and wave goodbye. So that £500 vet bill the following week was simply an unlucky coincidence. Wasn’t it?
Designer…
Your horse matches you. Or perhaps you match your horse? Black and blinged or chestnut and cheeky, you and your horse are always a perfectly co-ordinated pair. He has a full wardrobe of rugs, boots and saddlecloths and his headcollars always match your handbags whilst your jodhpurs perfectly match the colour of his eyes.
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Besotted…
You’ve only got eyes for your horse. To you he is the centerfold pin up of the horse world and the fact that he only has half a tail, three teeth and bad breath is of no consequence. Oh, and even if he can be a little bit bad tempered if you suggest going for an occasional hack, well that just gives him a little bit of character doesn’t it?
Browbeaten…
You haven’t been away on holiday for years. The reason? Your horse won’t let you. The last time you tried it you spent two miserable weeks in Majorca worrying yourself silly about how your baby would be coping in his field without you. And when you got back you couldn’t catch him for a month so you decided, never again!
Horse bore…
If you were a contestant on Mastermind your specialist subject could be horse bedding. You are bewildered by the reaction of people who run from the room when you talk at length on the pros and cons of shavings versus straw. And you really cannot understand why people start sniffing the air when you turn up at work wearing the clothes you mucked out in.
Show crazy…
You go to a horse show every single weekend and spend the days in between grooming, cleaning, filling in entry forms and polishing your trophies. Unfortunately you simply never have the time or inclination to clean your house or car, and so although your horse, tack room and stable are immaculate and your rosettes are displayed to perfection you wouldn’t be surprised if Kim and Aggie from “How Clean is Your House?” turned up at any moment.
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Over-anxious…
You are permanently broke and your partner is beginning to suspect that you are having an affair with your vet. He just doesn’t seem to understand that when a horse’s whiskers go pale like that or your favourite horse refuses a Polo mint you have to seek immediate veterinary advice in case there’s something contagious going around. Well, you can’t be too careful can you?